How To Be "Naturally Beautiful"

Being, "Naturally Beautiful," is some sort of phenomenon.  It is always hilarious to me when, because I wore a bright or dark eyeshadow or lipstick color, or decided to wear black eyeliner, now I'm brinking into, "Un-Naturally Beautiful," territory, even though to be, "Naturally Beautiful," I still was using NINE OTHER PRODUCTS.  To dilute the ignoramus of it all I decided to put together this little tutorial.

How To Be Naturally Beautiful

Step 1:  Your skincare.  Let's face it, you are going to get old and wrinkly FAST unless you have a good skin-care regime.  Use sunscreen and a moisturizer that doesn't break you out.  Because lord knows, PIMPLES are NOT Naturally Beautiful.  They may be natural, but they are not beautiful!!

In this picture, I am somewhat in the dark.  I wouldn't DARE go in bright sunlight with no makeup on and take the picture, because we all know that's not a naturally beautiful sight...


Step 2:  Prime your face.  I'm using a primer that diminishes my larger pores and creates a smooth canvas on my face.  That's what primers are supposed to do.  Pores are NOT beautiful, so best you cover them somehow, and since primers are sheer, you won't look like you have extra makeup on your face!

The product is called, "Dr. Brandt," Pores No More.  It works awesomely, but it's pretty freaking expensive and I'm not going to go out and purchase it (this was a sample).  So best you go buy the cheapest, somewhat shittier primer that you can find, like I will do when this runs out.  Don't worry though, your makeup is the most important part in being Naturally Beautiful.


Step 3:  This is the most important part.  Applying your concealer.  Since you want to use as few skin-covering products as possible (to eliminate the chance of cakiness), I highly recommend skipping foundation and just going straight to a high-coverage concealer that will kill two birds with one stone.  Also, apply it with a beauty blender (I recommend the Real Techniques Complexion Sponge).  Applying it with a beauty blender will sheer out the high coverage concealer and provide you a natural finish that most makeup brushes can't achieve.  So everything looks like it's just your skin.  BUT BETTER.

Now because most of the colors and impurities in your face are gone, your skin looks rather flat.  But not to worry!!  You'll be covering this with makeup that creates the Naturally Beautiful Look once again.


Step 4:  Applying your powder.  Because you want this look to be as natural as possible and you also want it to last as long as possible, you need a decent powder, one that will leave a natural finish.  I think the powder I chose not only sets, but makes the concealer I used look more natural than the concealer would by itself.  Many people use bare minerals for this, I just use Elf Mineral Booster in shimmer.  Also a lot of people use HD powders, which are really just Dimethicone and Silica mixed together and you can get them for a hell of a lot cheaper at websites like TKBtrading.com... You just want something that isn't going to settle in your fine lines or look cakey.  After all THAT wouldn't look natural.  You can't just choose powder, you have to choose the RIGHT powder.

I applied with the ELF Large Stipple Brush because I think it applies the powder sheerly, avoiding even more chances of cakiness.  And yes, that's a hair-tie around it, go back a couple entries and you'll see why I did that.  (And if you're not noticing yet, yes I use a lot of ELF products.  Why buy something expensive when I can have something cheap that works just as well?)


Step 5:  Choose your blush WISELY.  Lord knows, a bright pink one and you'll be accused of being Un-Naturally Beautiful once again.  I opted for the one on the left.  It's kind of a berry tone and on my skin looks like I was walking around in the cold and got a little flushed.  You can do swatches on your arms to see which looks the most natural on you.  Then pick the blush that goes with the best swatch, and voila!!

Make sure to apply your blush with an excellent brush.  I will explain this in further detail in another entry, because I don't think other people emphasize this enough, but it is truly easiest to apply blushes with a dense, soft, fairly large blush because it will blend the color into your skin a hell of a lot easier and cover more surface area, allowing for a quick application.  Of course you don't want to use that type of brush for the high-pigmented blushes.

Oh, look I yawned.  Don't wanna do that in front of people without covering your mouth!!  That's not Naturally Beautiful!!

On second thought, pose with your blush brush for a second.  Look at you, you're almost done!!  Being Naturally Beautiful took a lot of steps, know-how, and techniques, didn't it!?

Step 6:  Apply your mascara.  If you can get away with it, do NOT use a clumpy mascara.  People see clumps in your mascara and they run off saying, "YOU ARE NOT NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL!!!"  You can even wear some natural looking false eyelashes (Revlon Precision lash glue is supposed to be a good glue), I won't tell anybody.  And dear GOD, comb out the clumps!  But don't comb it too thoroughly, if your lashes are not tangled a little bit, that might look too unnatural!!

Step 7:  Now, pick out your lip product.  I know what you're thinking here.  Hey, that nude-colored lipstick doesn't look too bad!!  WRONG.  You want to have color on your lips, but if they look completely covered in lipstick, that won't be Natural Looking enough.  And if you choose the red one, you're screwed.

You know how to put on lipgloss.  Voila.

Step 8:  Oh, didn't anybody tell you that your eyelids by themselves are too veiny?  Well here, I just handed you that gem without you even asking.  Now apply some nude colored eyeshadow (whatever color you may be).

Make sure to blend it in really well with your finger.  Lord knows if it looks too powdery what will be going through the minds of those Wise People all around you.


Step 9:  Lovingly gaze at the pile of products you used to accomplish this Natural Look.  You're done mother*cker!

In some lightings, you'll SUPER-won't-look-like-you-did-your-makeup!

Knowledge is power baby, knowledge is power.

In fact, the more casual you act and the less you look like you give a shit, the more Naturally Beautiful the Wise People around you tend to think you are.

BOOM!  And done!!


Product List (GAH, I hate writing this part.):
*Burt's Bees Intense Hydration Night Cream With Clary Sage
*Hawaiian Tropic Silk Hydration Face Oil Free Lotion Sunscreen
*Dr. Brandt Pores No More (I plead with you not to buy this)
*Glamoflauge Concealer in the shade Ultra Light
*Real Techniques Complexion Sponge
*Elf Mineral Booster in the shade Shimmer
*Elf Stipple Brush (it's the large one but they don't name it large...hence my writing it that way)
*Elf Mineral Pressed Blush in the shade Wanderlust
*Bestope Premium Synthetic Kabuki Brush (the rounded one.  This was shipped from China and I am kind of ashamed of buying it)
*Elf Eye Enhancing Mascara
*Elf Conditioning Lip Balm in the shade (what a surprise) Nice & Natural
*Elf Essential Brow Comb and Brush
*Mary Kay Mineral Eye Color in the shade Silky Caramel (not sure they sell this shade anymore, but there are many similar shades in the line if you're looking to buy the exact same brand I used...it's pretty pricey and I bought it at a weak moment in my sophomore year of college.)

Total Number of Products Used To Achieve Naturally Beautiful Look: 13
Sarcasm Scale: 100%
I Didn't Give A Shit Level: Off The Charts
Percentage of Dumbassery That Prompted Me To Write This Entry: 100%


PS: No, I'm not an egotist, I don't think I'm amazing looking, and I didn't write this to show-off... Saying How To Be Naturally Beautiful was all in good fun and in sarcasm and I felt the need to write this PS in case anyone for some reason felt strongly otherwise.